I told you not to mention it

Brexit staggers on. Speaker rules that same motion cannot be repeated but May produces a valid variation which is rejected (3rd time).
MPs vote to take control of the process and produce 8 options which when voted on are all defeated !!
May initiates negotiations with labour to try to get something through (=suicide note?) requests EU delay to leaving to June, offered end October (with flex option) – Macron stirring. Labour maintaining a decisive position of no commitment to anything.
European elections looming on 23rd May – Farage launches Brexit party.
New IRA kills journalist during rioting in Londonderry (accident…)
Wikileaks’ Assange kicked out of  Ecuadorian embassy and arrested for bail evasion
Man City and Liverpool fighting for Premiership – City OK if they win all their matches

Don’t mention the B word

May’s brexit deal defeated by 230 MP votes. Corbyn ducks out of talks. MPs later vote for ‘alternative arrangements’ to backstop. Good luck with EU on that!
US government is shutdown for 4 weeks – Trump still hasn’t got his wall
China lands on back side of moon – uncomfortable
Gatwick shut for 24 hours by drone
Venezuela in Crisis
Alex Salmond accused of sexual crimes
Bomb explodes in NI