We won’t need to use the B word again

UK left the EU at 11pm 31st January with transition period to end (by law) on 31st December. Boris adopting hardball position to trade talks – good for him!
US assassinate leading iranian general. Iran retaliates with missiles to US bases in Iraq (a limited response) but accidentally bring down a civilian aircraft with a missile at the same time.
At Davos trump labels climate push as ‘prophets of doom’. Democrats pursuing a futile impeachment path (although he’s obviously guilty). USA looks more like a banana republic.
Rapist convicted of 120 crimes
Harry & Meghan decide to give the up royals thing and move to canada – do I care….
Australian fires covering large areas
Turkey earthquake
Assad pressing to retake remaining rebel areas with assistance from russia and little resistance from others
Chinese Corona virus spreading worldwide – death rate 2% but it’s highly infectious
Liverpool are now uncatchable at the top of the premiership

It may be over

Boris gets a major election win with an overall majority of 80. Won by persuading midlands and north labour voters to “lend” votes to him and focussing on “Let’s get brexit done”. Labour lost through Corbyn image, making excessive spending commitments and, probably, a too left wing agenda.
The first stages of a Brexit bill are passed including a legal commitment to final exit by the end of 2020
A New Zealand volcanic eruption kills several tourists
Serious bush fires engulf much of south east Australia with temperatures at 40C

Unbearable electioneering nearly over

New speaker elected – can’t be worse than the last
Election – parties competing for who can spend most. Labour clear spending leaders – if these loonies get elected we are all doomed (Mr Mannering…). Boris avoiding interview with Neil – don’t blame him, Corbyn’s was an embarrassing car crash. Fortunately there are only another few days to go.
Flooding in Yorkshire and fires in Australia precede the international climate conference. Until someone persuades China, India and the USA to take action it’s a waste of time. The UK is irrelevant in the overall picture.
Hong Kong riots precede election triumph for the pro democracy movement. Probable waste of effort vs chinese government attitude.
England qualify for next stage of Euros after beating montenegro by 7 then kosovo by 4
Trump impeachment progresses but since the senate is republican controlled it will not happen. Democrats probably hoping to affect the next election.
London bridge terrorism saw three killed plus the terrorist and heroic efforts by the public to stop him

Is Brexit about to be done?

Rugby world cup in Japan – Wales beat Australia and Fiji then France to reach semis where they lost to South Africa. England beat New Zealand but lose the final to South Africa. A hurricane disrupted the schedule.
US pulls out of Syria. Turks invade Kurds in Syria “to create a buffer zone”. Russia steps in to provide support.
England lose to Czech Republic in disappointing game but win convincingly in Bulgaria despite racist activity in the stands. UEFA response underwhelming.
On 17th EU deal agreed but dup will not support. A vote caused an MP amendment that leads to more delay and EU extension to 31st January. 2nd reading of the bill passed but schedule not. Government pause activity and when EU delay announced try bill for elction. Not passed (fixed parliament act). Introduce simple bill for date change of an election to 12 Dec and Labour shamed into agreeing!
Thank god its only 12 weeks.

Dimwitted MPs

MPs take control of order paper. Boris loses 2 votes attempting to get a general election. Opposition parties pass law removing no deal option and requiring him to ask EU for extension if a deal not agreed. (Will he refuse, go to jail and win an election…).
Whip removed from 21 Tories who voted against the government. Supreme court rules prorogue unlawful so bunch of wallies return to their seats so that they can try to prevent Brexit.
Time this lot went!!
Mugabe dies.
Saudi oilfields bombed by Yemen rebels – ie Iran
Thomas cook collapses
Rugby world cup starts
UK delivers final proposal to EU

Boris Brexit

MC win charity shield
Football season starts MC Liv look good
England loose 1st test draw 2nd win 3rd at the last gap
Boy thrown from tate modern 8th floor
USA 2 mass shootings in 24 hrs (250 in 7 months!)
USA and China stepping up trade war
Boris at G7 putting pressure on European leaders. Announcing spending pledges as though there were an election coming….Prorogues parliament for a few days for a queens speech (or maximise pressure on Brexit hating MPs). MPs likely to try to prevent No Deal option and go for another extension. How can you negotiate with the EU if you take no deal off the table!! Boris will likely try to get an election under these circumstances.
Pound at new lows against dollar and Euro
Rain forest fires in Brazil
2 hot spells – Europe and UK records
Big hurricane causing destruction in the Bahamas, may be heading for central Florida

Boris made it

Trump ‘go back to where you come from’ to coloured Democratic women
England win world cup cricket – luckily
Ursula von de Leyen elected eu commision president
50 yrs since moon landing
golf open in NI – irish winner
ebola spreading
Boris PM – brexit supporting cabinet – 17 changes ‘bloodbath’
No ifs or buts leave 31st October – backstop must go – means it – 2bn funding
EU say deal cannot be changed
NHS immediate funding released
?election soon
Conservatives loose welsh seat to Lib Dems – tactical voting and Brexit party drain Conservative votes
Pound weakens
38.7C record – flooding in Derbyshire – Dam cracking causes evacuation of village

Football Good Politics Interesting

Liverpool and Chelsea win Euro leagues
Trump state visit – he talks to Boris and Farage but not Corbyn
D Day 75 years on events
England lose to Netherlands in Nations league
May out, Boris and Hunt doing hustings for party members to elect leader who becomes PM
Rain most of month – end=heatwave France 45C
A few extreme weather events – global warming not proven
Women world cup England in semis but lose to a better team USA
Iran blows up oil tankers then US turns up pressure
UK/Gibraltar stop Iranian oil tanker heading for Syria
Cricket world cup – England underperform but through to final stage

There have been Royalty events but I’m not interested

Footie Fab Politics Poor

Champions league Liverpool Barcelona 4-0 vs 0-3 , Ajax vs Tottenham 3-3 agg (2-1 down then 2-3)
so Liv v Tot final!!
ManC win Premiership by 1 point vs liverpool
Chelsea and Arsenal in Europa Cup Final!!
Local Elections indicate “plague on both your houses”
Economy still doing well
May in Brexit talks with Labour ends in predictable nothing
Farage creates Brexit party which goes on to dominate Euro elections – Lab and Con decimated
Trump China talks stall and increased tariffs result
US bans trading with Huawei (scared of there technology leadership?)
May resigns leading to enough leadership candidates to make a football team including subs
Will Boris make it??

I told you not to mention it

Brexit staggers on. Speaker rules that same motion cannot be repeated but May produces a valid variation which is rejected (3rd time).
MPs vote to take control of the process and produce 8 options which when voted on are all defeated !!
May initiates negotiations with labour to try to get something through (=suicide note?) requests EU delay to leaving to June, offered end October (with flex option) – Macron stirring. Labour maintaining a decisive position of no commitment to anything.
European elections looming on 23rd May – Farage launches Brexit party.
New IRA kills journalist during rioting in Londonderry (accident…)
Wikileaks’ Assange kicked out of  Ecuadorian embassy and arrested for bail evasion
Man City and Liverpool fighting for Premiership – City OK if they win all their matches